I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
