nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
