There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
