Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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