I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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