Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
