My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
