Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
