You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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