I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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