How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
