why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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