Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
