My first STD was from a foam party
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
