I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
