she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
