So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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