And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
