I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
