It's Friday. Sex?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
