Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
