Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Me. At least after what I've been through.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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(905): View more from Ontario

they call him Oral-B. enough said

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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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(775): View more from Nevada

He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Atleast he is letting you know he will be late

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(702): View more from Nevada

Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person

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