My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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