Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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