I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
