i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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