I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
