I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
