But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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