dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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