bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
