I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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