My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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