On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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