I seem to have left my pride at pride
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
