I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
