We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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