Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
