also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
