i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
