We're like a lot better than the average bears
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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