I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
