No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
