id be glad to
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
