whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
