Pappa wants mamma naked
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
