OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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