He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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