You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Bring me that man meat
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
