Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
These tits shall not be calmed
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