we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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