no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So much rum. So many feels.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And my parents said I crawled through the house
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
