he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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