If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
