Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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